Deadheading

My mum and I were having a chat about life and the universe etc and yet again it was highlighted that we have completely different perspectives. For example, certain life choices I have made along the way may seem erratic or impulsive to others, but for me it is all about the experience, which is driven by my profound curiosity of the unknown. One of the things we talked about was the loved ones that have come and gone in my life. As we started to name them I noticed the list was longer than I thought…It made me question whether or not I was the problem. When I looked at each situation, I took accountability for how things went and how I could have done things differently. Once I got past the ‘who said what’ I saw the truth: these relationships had fulfilled its purpose for both parties and it was time to move on to the next chapter. I also looked at where I was in my life when I started these friendships/relationships. What level was my self esteem? Was I in a happy/sad place? How did I change when I was around them? When did things start changing?
My mum, on the other hand wasn’t entirely convinced and started harping on about my addictive/erratic personality (mothers!)….Maybe there was some truth in that, more so in my younger days but when I reflected on the later years, I had an epiphany: Dead heading. So this is a process in gardening, where you remove the dead flowers from the whole plant/flower in order for it to bloom. While they are attached a LOT of energy is used trying to restore the dying flowers – that may never make it. But the minute those old flowers come off- BOOM! All that energy goes back into blooming fresh new flowers.
And the point is…? I believe that people come together to have an experience and learn from it in order to reach their higher-self (or most fabulous-self, as I like to say 🙂 So it’s about accepting what is and that it is a process that can be painful at times, but also necessary in order to grow. My mum loves gardening so she appreciated the analogy. I hope you do too- feel free to leave any comments or contact me if you want to learn more about how to ‘dead head’ your life so you can bloom!
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